Remembering Misty: Dealing with Death

So it’s been three months since Misty passed. We still miss her every day, as we saw her as our little baby. She had all of her perks and quirks which made her the unique kitty she was. I can at least feel okay knowing that she definitely felt loved by all the people around her. Non-animal lovers will think us silly in this kind of talk, so you can go ahead and skip this post. But we saw her as a big part of the family. Her passing, especially her being just a kitten, made the winter pretty difficult.

Misty snuggled up one day when she didn’t feel very well

I have experienced death before in my life, but it was either gradual, distant, or in a younger age where I didn’t comprehend it as fully or it didn’t hit me as much. This one definitely, definitely hit us. It was the most wrenching, stabbing grief we’ve felt in a long time. I have lost some very close to me. But this was sudden. That’s what made it so horrible, terrifying, and heartbreaking for us.

It was very staggering, hit us like a punch in the stomach. I didn’t understand how this could happen–she’s just a kitten, it isn’t fair. I was confused, it didn’t seem very real to me, as if I would wake up and our black and white kittens would be there, hogging food and cuddling. But I didn’t wake up, because it wasn’t a dream. It was reality, and it took a little bit for me to actually wrap my head around it. For the years I’ve lived so far, nothing really tragic has happened to me. Nothing that takes the breath and life out of you and just leaves you slumped with exhaustion and grief.

But after that day, I felt that. That deep pain and confusion after tragedy hits. We love animals so much, especially our own, and we take very good care of them. Which is why it was devastating to us that one of our little kittens died. And thus far, I hadn’t experienced such, and I am lucky for that. This hit both of us full force. Intermingled with grief was confusion: Why did this happen to us? How could have this happened? Is the universe against us? I don’t understand.

This made it harder to accept reality and eventually deal with her death. I just didn’t get it, I wasn’t able to digest it. But with insanely-supportive friends and family, I eventually got past the point of denial and was able to taste the truth. I wouldn’t have been able to get through it as I did without Chris. Reality slapped me in the face and told me, “No matter where you live, who you are, how you take care of your loved ones, how good of a person you are–very bad things can happen to you.”

It was a lesson learned–a hard lesson learned. I’m sure everyone gets this lesson some point in their life and it was probably better to get it early on (although I would trade almost anything to get Misty back). Nobody is saved from tragedy. Nobody can go through life cleanly without anything bad happening. Bad things do happen. The universe isn’t against Chris and I. It taught us to be strong even when we felt that we couldn’t be. It taught us that life still will go on even when terrible things happen to you. It taught us that death is a part of life.

It was a horrific incident in our lives and she will always always be remembered with love and happiness. I remember the point where I could finally remember Misty without images of her death and remember her funny quirks like walking on two legs and her unique meow. Thank you to all who gave us support during this time and gave Misty love during her time.

My most favorite picture of them

Feb122013

4 Ways to Breathe Properly and Reap the Benefits

Breathe in. And out. Breathing, oxygen is the foundation of our entire existence as air-breathing animals. Yet, we rarely pay attention to it throughout the day. I’m here to bring the importance of breathing back into your life! Breathing properly has an incredible amount of benefits, including:

A larger lung capacity
Lower blood pressure
The ability to relax emotions and stress
The ability to relax muscle tension, cramps, and pain
The ability to push your exercise and strength farther
Improves posture
Elevates mood and keeps you calm and refreshed
Fights off fatigue

Breathe (Photo credit: PhotoLab XL)

Now those are just some benefits of breathing deeply and properly, the list goes on and on. Breathing is also a large part of meditation, where you can learn more about here. Okay, Alana, these are great benefits!

So, how do we breathe properly?

There are several different techniques for different situations, but in most circumstances, it is important to breathe deeply. Breathe deep in through the nose and out through the mouth. Depending on the situation, it is good to have your exhale be audible (such as when you are meditating or working out).

1. Breathing 101. Like I said, in through the nose, out through the mouth. When you inhale, make sure that your belly expands. Once your belly expands, fill your chest. It is good to inhale and hold at the top for as long as you comfortably can, then exhale through the mouth. This is the proper technique of breathing to get those benefits we talked about above. It helps to massage those inner muscles as well.

English: Animation of a diaphragm exhaling and inhaling (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

2. Breathing for meditation. Again, if you want a more in-depth introduction or guide to meditation, go here. Otherwise, let’s go through a short version. We are going to do the same breathing (in through nose, out through mouth), but this time we are going to count. This helps focus the mind and concentrate only on breathing, which is a great practice for meditation. So, inhale for 4 counts, hold the breath at the top for 4 counts, and exhale for 4 counts. Do this for a few minutes. After a few minutes and you’ve gotten into a rhythm, expand your breath farther by using the count of 5.

La méditation (Danse Odissi, musée Guimet) (Photo credit: dalbera)

3. Breathing for working out. Believe it or not, breathing for exercise purposes is similar to the above techniques. But with working out, we want to exhale more forcefully. Often, when we exercise, we tend to gulp up short little breaths, and even hold our breath during a tough exercise. These are NO-NOs! If you want to get stronger, faster, and more capable, here’s how to do it: breathe in when you’re in the less stressful part of the exercise, and then exhale forcefully (so that others can hear it) out. This dramatic exhale focuses you and pushes you to complete the exercise. Make sure your inhales are deep–your muscles need oxygen, and if you deprive them of it, they will not work properly or as effectively!

Chris breathing through leg press

4. Breathing for stress relief. I know we allll need this one, so pay attention. We are going to do the same breathing techniques as above, but slightly changed to fit our needs. Let’s practice this breathing technique three times: inhale very deeply, fill up that chest and expand the tummy. Hold it…now exhale out forcefully making an “ahhh” sound. As you exhale out loudly, I want you to slump your shoulders with the force of it. So you’re bringing your inhale up, your posture nice and straight, then letting it all loose with a loud, stress-releasing exhale.

[Exhalation] Tomoe Shinohara as Sayuri (Photo credit: edmundyeo)

Keep in mind all the benefits this deep breathing can give you, and try to practice proper breathing at least ten minutes a day. If you are strength training, definitely put this to use if you want a better workout! If you keep practicing, you will notice your posture will become more upright, you will feel more relaxed, and in charge of your life!

Feel free to comment with any questions you might have. Cheers!

Feb012013

7 Tips for Getting Back on Track with Your Goals

It’s February 1st of the new year. One month since the start of 2013. Where are you at?

Maybe you’re not exactly where you want to be. You’ve set goals, but you haven’t quite followed them all the way through. You’ve started your path, but perhaps you’ve diverged somewhat–say eating 4 treats a week instead of 2. That’s okay. It’s important to not get frustrated and throw up your hands. What’s important is to look back and see when and why you cheat and ditch the goal. Here are a few tips on getting back on track…

English: DeBarra Mayo in workout gear 1987. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

1. Evaluate and re-design your goals. Perhaps you weren’t so wise–or realistic–when you set these goals. Maybe you didn’t listen to me when I told you to do your SMART goals. Sometimes when we are trying to help ourselves with truly good intentions (for example, setting goals and resolutions), we shoot ourselves in the foot by being over-ambitious. Now, I am never one to be a dream-killer, I’m in support of getting what you want, but we need to be in the real world when we do them. So take a look at your goals, and decide maybe if it’s too ambitious and you need to take a smaller step first.

2. Be held accountable. I’m not saying you have to tell the whole world what you want to do. But have someone know. And have that someone be a person who can remind you and be your supporter on this mission of yours. You could look into personal training–I know some of my client would not make it to the gym if they didn’t know I was waiting for them. If you don’t want to jump into a trainer, find a gym buddy. It can be a social and a fitness visit–you can go to your gym, or go for runs, or circuit training in the park!

Personal trainer monitoring a client’s movement during fitball / core exercise. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

3. Make a date. Whether it be with yourself, your trainer, or your exercise buddy–write it down in your planner, calendar, iPhone, WHATEVER you have. One of the easiest ways to get back on track and into fitness is to creating your workouts (or at least your workout times before the fact). This way you can look at your phone, schedule, whatever and know, “Okay, Wednesday at 3pm is when this workout is planned, and I think it will be focused on cardio and lower body.” Every week, I would plan it in my schedule, when, what, and where I was working out. And then I would send that schedule to my fitness buddies for them to join in.

4. Make it mandatory. Make it a part of your schedule, not something you could do. I always considered it along the same lines of my classes during college (of which I never missed, weird, I know, but for some reason couldn’t make myself do it). And because I would never miss a class…why would I miss a workout? Unless sick, of course. I made it mandatory, just as attending my Existentialism or Human Rights class. It was a part of my schedule. Make it a part of yours.

Schedule (Photo credit: Marco Buonvino)

5. Share a goal. Have a friend with a similar goal or resolution? Why not go at the thing together? This will double your chances of actually succeeding. You will have each other there for guilt and support, and it’s always easier to do something when you are part of a team. I’m sure if you think about it, you know someone who wants the same thing you do–and I’m sure they’d be thrilled by the idea.

6. Track your goals. Didn’t track those goals last month? Let’s start now. Make a sheet of what you want to do every week, every day. And have check mark boxes to track them. You could do this through Excel or Word, or just write it up on a notepad. Don’t just keep it in a notebook, though, stick it up on the wall where you see it every day.

7. Use apps. If you have a smart phone (and even if you don’t), tap into the wealth of helpfulness you can get from tons of fitness apps. Even if you don’t have a smartphone, you can use these apps online, using your computer. Here are a few that I think are great: My Fitness Pal, Fooducate, Nike Training, Map My Run, and GAIN Fitness.

Use these tips and help yourself thrive to succeed with your goals! Comment with any questions and feel free to email hungryandfit@gmail.com for person-specific questions! Cheers!

Jan212013

A Beginner’s Guide to Meditation

I am no master of meditation. But it is a goal of mine to meditate every day for at least a few minutes. When I was doing it “religiously,” during college, I found such peace and clarity at the end of each session–even if it was just for a few minutes and I had struggled to focus. It was so worth my time and effort. I am slowly getting back into it now and I hope to expand my time each day meditating. Meditation can sound intimidating and weird. Why would I want to sit down and fight with my mind for 20 minutes? Good question. You hone your body through physical exercise, but ignore the mind. Meditation is exercise for the mind, making it strong and honed. It allows you to take control over your mind and emotions when usually they take control over you. It is worthwhile for everyone to try. Let’s start with baby steps.

“Gathering the Light” from the Taoist book The Secret of the Golden Flower, translated by C. G. Jung and Richard Wilhelm (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The best way to start a meditation practice is to devote and hold yourself to doing it just for 2-3 minutes per day. That’s not a whole lot of commitment time–you can definitely do that. I usually do it just before bed and it allows me to go to sleep in a peaceful state. You don’t have to do it at the same time every day, but make sure you get some time in.

So now we’ve got our homework time set of 2-3 minutes per day. It really is the best way to start. Okay, I’m sitting here, closing my eyes–now what!

1. Understand the monkey mind. Our minds are not easy to control, they go this way and this, seemingly whenever they want to. We need to appreciate the mind for what it is–and not try to fight it by saying, “Empty my mind, fill it with nothing.” Because plainly speaking, that ain’t gonna happen. Especially when you’re just starting out. My Yoga teacher taught me that the mind is like a monkey–it’s jumping around, excited, trying to do and focus on a million things at once. That isn’t going to work for you. So, it’s simple–give it a task. Give it a task so that it focuses on one thing instead of seventeen. That will lead to clarity of the mind. What task should you give it? Read on.

This Statue of Shiva (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

2. Start with breathing. Bottom line. Once you’re comfortably seated or laying down (everyone is different)–it’s all about your breath. You may find that when you sit down and close your eyes, ready for meditation, your mind is screaming in a bunch of different directions and that everything that you know you need to do swarms your head. Calm that monkey mind down, and begin deliberate breathing. If you’re still struggling, ease your focus by counting with your breaths. I like to start with four counts inhale, four counts hold, then four counts exhale. That way, you’re concentrating on counting the breath, putting all your mind power into regulating it. As you breathe, put a hand on your chest and stomach, and feel how the breath pushes and pulls your body. Putting all your focus into your breath gives your mind a task. It is always that when we don’t try to “empty our minds” do we actually find clarity by devoting it to one thing. If you want, keep this counting breath practice your whole 2-3 minutes–it truly helps.

English: show the shallow breathing. Dansk: viser vejrtrækning i brystet. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

3. Focus on an image. There are many other ways, beyond breathing, to focus the mind. I will list a few. One is focusing on an image. For example, I usually go with a flame or a grain of sand. I picture in my mind, while keeping my breathing steady, and picture every single thing about it–how it feels, if it’s warm or cold, what it looks like, how heavy it is, etc. It helps your mind when you imagine just that image and try to delve into it. Your mind can devote it one way, and it is a meditation to lead to meditative state. Another version of focusing on an image is staring at a real flame, either candle or fire–it can be captivating.

A flame (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

4. Focus on a word or mantra. This can be anything. A word that means most to you, a word or phrase you try to live by, something you want to see out of yourself–anything. It should focus on positive energy because it will determine your state of emotion and mind once you stop meditating. For me, I usually pick peace or be. I just project it in my mind, let it sound there, envelop all of your senses and focus. Another good way to concentrate.

5. Focus on a sound. Ever hear crickets from your room? Or maybe there’s a creek running out back. Maybe you have a buzzing air conditioner, heater, or humidifer. You could even put on ambient music to focus on as well. Find that sound, listen to it closely, let it be the only thing your mind focuses on. Try to detect where it is, and all the layers that make that sound. Make it so it is the only sound you hear.

6. Scan your body. Another great way of tuning in to your body and mind is doing an imaginative scan and feel of your body. Keeping your eyes closed and breathing deliberate, focus first on your feet. How do they feel? Are they sore? Are they hot or cold? Answer those questions and slowly move up the body, feeling out each part until you reach the top of your head. This may not seem like meditation, but it is–you are focusing your mind on something, excluding any other distractions and strengthening your mind power.

7. Return to your breath when frustrated. Sometimes, it’s just not working out. You’re focusing on the flame, but something in your mind is pulling it away from where you want it to be. Stop, re-center yourself. Count the breaths again and return to the start.

8. Congratulate yourself. Nice work! Meditation is not easy. We often underestimate the challenges for the mind. Once again, as you keep going, it will be easier. Soon that 2-3 minutes will turn into 5, and that 5 into 10 and so forth. Whenever I finish a meditation, I feel as if I could just float upwards on a cloud of warm peace and clarity. It sounds strange, but just 2-3 minutes can do that for you.

Meditation (Photo credit: Moyan_Brenn_be_back_on_Jan_20th)

Remember that success in meditation is not “emptying the mind”–it is focusing it. Give it that task, whatever of the above you would like and you will venture into the meditative state. Good luck and let me know if you have any questions or comments!

How I feel after meditation

Aug302012

Do NOT Touch that Button!

Dread

Let’s admit it: in this day and age, most people have smartphones. Even if you don’t have one, this still applies to you. Most of our work is often connected to our email, which is often connected to our phone, which is often on our bodies at ALL TIMES. It can get incredibly stressful even when you’re not at work, to check your email and boop! a few work emails slide in, reminding about all the tasks you need to get done. It sucks. But it’s also addicting, wanting to know everything that’s being sent to you at all times, wanting to be on top of it all.

For example, I wake up in the morning and the very first thing I do is lean over (groggily) and press my email. A few seconds later, I hear the familiar short buzz, notifying me that there’s something (or multiple somethings) in my inbox. I see 18 New Emails, and my stomach does a turn, half out of excitement and half out of dread. I know there are some things that could be great potential offers, but also some that task more things on my to-do list. Is that the feeling I want to get right in the start of the morning? I’m starting to think not.

So, as my attempts to observe myself and my reactions towards things, I tried to listen to my stress patterns more. There are sometimes where I don’t mind checking over everything I have to do, getting bombarded with emails from “Stop Animal Cruelty!” to the latest work I need to complete that day, and such. But sometimes, I want to be happy in the moment and do whatever I’m doing whether it be cuddling with the kitties, doing some writing, or spending time with my loved ones.

Thus, in order to demonstrate my learned lesson of understanding myself, I tried to follow not always checking it. For example, we were in the gym yesterday, doing a cardio and leg workout. One of our better workouts since we actually had a facility. Not to say we aren’t out of shape, but hey we’re getting there again. Anyhow, I was enjoying the workout, getting into it, having fun and I felt this itch every time I was resting from a leg press or calf raise. What the heck is that? Oh yeah, it’s an itch to check my email, see if I need to get anything done, who’s contacting me, etc etc etc. But I didn’t press it once! I was pretty proud and I was also happy to be in the moment enjoying myself.