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Back to the Basics: How to Cook an Artichoke

Ridiculously simple post? Yes, but I find it necessary. The first time I approached an artichoke, I had no idea how to do it! It’s an intimidating vegetable with thorns to boot! So if you know how to cook an artichoke, pass this one over. You can go read about how to cook kale instead. Artichokes bring back good memories for me: sitting with my before-birth friend and her family eating a cooked artichoke with garlic butter. Memories like that always make the food taste better.

My cooking method for artichokes is to boil them. It’s actually easy peasy, so let’s start. I’m not going to even put an ingredients list because all you need is…ARTICHOKE. 

Directions

1. Wash the artichoke by pouring water over it

2. Cut the stem off, leaving 1 inch there.

3. Cut off an inch of the tip of the artichoke

Isn't it purdy?

Isn’t it purdy?

4. Pull off the leaves at the bottom, the very rough ones that you wouldn’t want to eat.

5. Take some scissors (or if you want to make your life awful, you can use a knife, yikes) and cut off the little thorns on the tips of the artichoke “leaves”

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6. Bring a pot of water to a boil and dunk that bad boy in there. Leave it in there for 25-30 minutes. You could always put salt on it here or even drop a clove of garlic in the water while it boils

7. Carefully take out the artichoke and let it cool so you can eat it!

8. While it’s cooling, why not make some melted garlic butter to dip it in? Just put a bit of butter in a bowl with some garlic and heat over stove or microwave. Or you could use hummus, salsa, any kind of dip you enjoy.

So I have this steaming vegetable, how do I eat it? Great question, imaginary friend. Once it’s cool enough to handle, simply pull the leaves off the body and drag your bottom teeth down it to get the “meat” off it. But don’t forget to dip it in your dip first! It can also be enjoyed just by itself. Once you get the meat off the leaf, put the discard (the hard part of the leaf) into another bowl (for garbage). Feel free to eat the artichoke heart at the end in the middle! Sounds like a sacrifice ritual–and those always turn out well! Eating artichokes is a great way to stay hungry and fit! Cheers! 

The remnants of my artichoke feast

The remnants of my artichoke feast

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Imitating a Table: How to do the Perfect Plank

I hate nothing more than bad form when people plank. Okay, that previous sentence is ridiculous, I hate many things more, for example, olives (maybe). People do this in all sorts of exercises, rush to try to get the “best pump” or the “longest duration” and completely compromise their form. I don’t know how many times I will tell you this, but this will not be the last.

(taken from this blog)

Form is more important than any other part of the exercise or workout. 

You screw up form, you screw up your body. It’s very simple. Yet big meatheads or beginners too will push past that to either try to get heavier weight or have no clue what they’re doing. So this will not be a long post. I just want you to perform a plank (one of the best core exercises, reaching the entire core from the upper thighs to the upper abs and everywhere in between.

1. Don’t wear socks. Just don’t do it, there’s no reason, even if your feet are smelly. Take them off or plunk on some shoes.

2. Put your forearms down flat on the floor, in a comfortable position, lining up with your shoulders

3. Ease your legs back, ‘standing’ on your toes

4. Lower your torso and upper legs, so you’re not making a ‘bridge’ with your body, but a nice flat terrain, hmm, somewhat like a plank a pirate would force you off.

5. Hold for as long as possible. Beginners, 30 seconds. Then move to 1 minute, then 2 minutes, then 3, etc. etc. You get the point.

Other tips:

  • Don’t stick your butt up
  • Don’t lower your hips
  • Don’t lower or raise your head
  • Keep tight

There are variations, too, like side-plank, watch-dogs, and twists. But remember GOOD FORM IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ANYTHING ELSE!

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