This is a review of a review. Every year the readers of Boulder Weekly vote on the Best of Boulder County and while it is all opinion, local businesses love to hang their awards throughout their shops and eateries. Although we haven’t even lived here for a year, we have tried to eat and venture to as many places that our busy lives allow. We are also very opinionated, especially when it comes to food. People can claim they love food as much as me but I would challenge you to put your money where your mouth is if you doubt our hunger. So I’m essentially going to flip from page to page and rant when I feel necessary so hang in there.

The cover features a picture of Naoto Kanda, the owner of Sushi Zanmai. His restaurant won Best Japanese Restaurant. Despite recommendations from my boss, Ryan, and our family/friend, Fred, we have yet to try this location because every time we walk by it is closed. Despite mediocre Yelp reviews, we’re going ASAP so look for an upcoming review.

Before I move on, since I have already gone through the whole magazine, I would like to say that this isn’t really a fair judge of the Best of Boulder County. I would venture to estimate that 90% of the votes received are from people living in Boulder like ourselves. Other towns in Boulder County, with lower populations and population density, most likely are not fairly represented but it is a poll for readers and everyone acknowledges that truth.

Best American Bistro… who cares. I don’t eat bistro sized or priced portions typically so I can’t say much about the top five here. Best Appetizers went to The Med and the one time we went we did enjoy the multitude of appetizers that our large group got so fair enough. Who cares about best brunch? Not me. I want more meals so I break them down… not combine them.

Here is the first crime. Best Asian Fusion Restaurant. Chez Thuy won with Japango coming in fourth place. Chez Thuy was one of our worst dining experiences yet. We ordered a lot of variety and nearly everything we had was bad. Not decent, but bad. The pad thai was awful. Second worst I’ve ever had to Pong Sri in New York City. Japango was also a bad meal and the menu did not represent many Asian cultures. You want good Asian Fusion… go to Kho’s Asian Bistro in Longmont. It’s New York or L.A. quality.

I’d have to give Best Bakery to Spruce Confections. Their pies and croissants made our family from across the country and world very happy on Thanksgiving. Breadworks serves “fresh” bread at the Farmer’s Market and by fresh I mean stale. Dot’s Diner rightfully wins best breakfast for the bucks. Don’t sleep on The Buff or Turley’s for best breakfast even though they place third and not on the top five. And please try the Panaderia on 28th Street. It has a museum’s worth of delicious Mexican and Latin American baked choices. That should definitely be on the top five for best bakery now that we think about it.

Larkburger winning best burger is a sham. It was the worst burger I’ve had in town yet. Expensive, slow, small, and worthless. Mountain Sun takes the cake for me, and Mustard’s Last Stand is the best burger for the buck. Moe’s bagels and service has been awful every time that I have gone and we have Einstein’s in Pennsylvania so it wins by default for having locations near New Jersey and New York.

Las Palmeras in Longmont has the best burritos along with some Taqueria on Lashley Street. Seriously, if Boulder locations win best burrito with the population of Mexican Americans that exist in Longmont, it’s obvious where people have eaten. Not in the right place. China Gourmet and Tsing Tao are the best Chinese restaurants. China Gourmet is one of the best Chinese food places I have ever eaten in my life. If you want a good restaurant dessert, you need to go back to Kho’s Asian Bistro or Pasta Vino in Boulder. They have a tower of puff pastry and fresh fruit greatness that tops anything I had at The Med.

I have no quarrels with Best Fine Dining because we’ve only been to John’s Restaurant and The Cork. Ripple and Glacier win as they should for frozen yogurt and ice cream. Tibet Kitchen should win best Indian/Nepali Restaurant or whatever category it fits best into. We haven’t been happy with any Italian yet so that’s that.

Snarf’s sandwiches are the best. Sun Deli has some good sandwiches as well, definitely better than Deli Zone. Best overall restaurants are Kho’s Asian Bistro and Korea House. Tibet Kitchen and Mediterranean Market are best non restaurant style eateries. Abo’s is the best slice and pizzeria… the makers of this poll don’t know what a pizzeria is. The best gyro is Med Market and not Falafel King. Kho’s and Korea house have the highest quality fish for sushi we’ve had so far. Much higher than Tora and Japango. Tibet Kitchen is the most vegetarian friendly so says Alana the veggie. It also gets the best chai drink. You can tell where we like to eat right? Well that’s enough of my ranting. I’ll stop there before we get into gyms and grocery stores and useless things. We’ll try more restaurants and have a better input for next year. Stay hungry and fit!