Remembering Misty: Dealing with Death

So it’s been three months since Misty passed. We still miss her every day, as we saw her as our little baby. She had all of her perks and quirks which made her the unique kitty she was. I can at least feel okay knowing that she definitely felt loved by all the people around her. Non-animal lovers will think us silly in this kind of talk, so you can go ahead and skip this post. But we saw her as a big part of the family. Her passing, especially her being just a kitten, made the winter pretty difficult.

I have experienced death before in my life, but it was either gradual, distant, or in a younger age where I didn’t comprehend it as fully or it didn’t hit me as much. This one definitely, definitely hit us. It was the most wrenching, stabbing grief we’ve felt in a long time. I have lost some very close to me. But this was sudden. That’s what made it so horrible, terrifying, and heartbreaking for us.

It was very staggering, hit us like a punch in the stomach. I didn’t understand how this could happen–she’s just a kitten, it isn’t fair. I was confused, it didn’t seem very real to me, as if I would wake up and our black and white kittens would be there, hogging food and cuddling. But I didn’t wake up, because it wasn’t a dream. It was reality, and it took a little bit for me to actually wrap my head around it. For the years I’ve lived so far, nothing really tragic has happened to me. Nothing that takes the breath and life out of you and just leaves you slumped with exhaustion and grief.

But after that day, I felt that. That deep pain and confusion after tragedy hits. We love animals so much, especially our own, and we take very good care of them. Which is why it was devastating to us that one of our little kittens died. And thus far, I hadn’t experienced such, and I am lucky for that. This hit both of us full force. Intermingled with grief was confusion: Why did this happen to us? How could have this happened? Is the universe against us? I don’t understand.

This made it harder to accept reality and eventually deal with her death. I just didn’t get it, I wasn’t able to digest it. But with insanely-supportive friends and family, I eventually got past the point of denial and was able to taste the truth. I wouldn’t have been able to get through it as I did without Chris. Reality slapped me in the face and told me, “No matter where you live, who you are, how you take care of your loved ones, how good of a person you are–very bad things can happen to you.”

It was a lesson learned–a hard lesson learned. I’m sure everyone gets this lesson some point in their life and it was probably better to get it early on (although I would trade almost anything to get Misty back). Nobody is saved from tragedy. Nobody can go through life cleanly without anything bad happening. Bad things do happen. The universe isn’t against Chris and I. It taught us to be strong even when we felt that we couldn’t be. It taught us that life still will go on even when terrible things happen to you. It taught us that death is a part of life.

It was a horrific incident in our lives and she will always always be remembered with love and happiness. I remember the point where I could finally remember Misty without images of her death and remember her funny quirks like walking on two legs and her unique meow. Thank you to all who gave us support during this time and gave Misty love during her time.